A while ago I had found myself being very irritable and short tempered. After some quiet time and self reflecting I realized I was ill-tempered due to resentments against others and myself. When I decided to let go of these resentments I learned about various thoughts surrounding forgiveness.
In many circles forgiveness involves letting go of wanting to see no harm occur to the person being forgiven. Sometimes this is taken a step further by one releasing the person toward whom the resentment is directed toward from any type of responsibilities or from needing to apologize. A step further still is wanting the same for the person being forgiven as one does for him or herself. Of course these are rather simple concepts that are a part of forgiveness. I have found them to be hard to place into action on more than one occassion.
The concept of forgiveness is often thought of as one where one is a judge. As the judge forgiveness helps you go from pronouncing a person guilty to innocent A different concept has one using forgiveness as a pair of scissors to cut themselves from the person who has harmed them. This sets them free to move forward with peace of mind.
Forgiveness is for the forgiver. The person being forgiven does not need to even know they have been forgiven, especially if they are not safe. It may be needed that one give forgiveness in small steps. Going at your own pace is helpful. Be gentle with yourself as you open your tender heart. Finally you may need to forgive yourself. Life brings mistakes and as we fall short forgiveness can soften life’s rough landings.
Deep breath… because that was a lot to focus on. What have you heard about forgiveness? What do you believe about it personally? Do you have a metaphor for this concept and if so what is it?
P. S. I always say that forgiveness is letting go of the hope of having a better past.